**Confessions #2 **

Personal I am a survivor of childhood sexual assault and molestation. My step father molested me for about fifteen years. The mornings when my underwear was cut away were the worst. Yet, I still loved him, forgave him, just to separate myself from him two years before he died this year. It pains me still, the abuse and losing him.

Spiritual I know keeping the Laws is not a burden, I’m just spiritual dead inside because I know I cant keep all 613 laws at all times. The food, Feasts Days, Sabbaths, no gossiping, no lying, not being a busybody, being sober, no cheating of any kind, respect my husband, Mother, Father, be kind, be generous, help the poor, keep a clean house, train kids, and spread Truth. There is so much more but I lose because of no fringes, not covered at all times and clothes of mixed fabrics. What I dont wear disqualifies me… And I am in no position to change it at the moment. It makes me feel dead inside because I am again disqualified for not dressing the correct way to be accepted just like I was growing up in the world.

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